We are not meant to be

The anxious preoccupied self of mine keeps clinging to you for no apparent reason. I loved you, I think I still am on some level. But you know what really kept me attached to you? You were just too nice to me. It’s not fair. I mean, being that tender and kind was not usually in our relationship, yet you made sure I remember exactly this part when we were sitting there in front of that church, remember? Remember me, crying, opening up all of my wounds while you watched me as dumb as a dog?

I had my reasons. I know we had the good parts of being together, but it helps me more to just stick to the bad parts, to let you go finally. I am seriously on the way of changing my behavioral pattern and stop clinging to other people, and stop humiliating myself always getting in touch with you, you and all of those people who decided not to give me space in their lives. I need more self-worth. I am worthy of love, worthy of being loved, worthy just as much as everybody else in this planet.

You know what? I pass. I let myself flow with the current, leaving you up there, not looking back anymore. I lose my future because I always look back at you all! I won’t do that anymore.

Close me, let go of that string and fade away, just as you prepared to do so.

You have pride. You appreciate yourself. You don’t let yourself go back to that place anymore. I want that. I’ll have that. I have that.